I wasn’t sure what was in the box, but it looked overly-dramatic to hold something that small. I wanted to leave but my curiosity got the best of me and I opened it up and inside was Gold! Gold, there's gold in here! I couldn't believe it. I was so lucky to have found this,I wasted no time and ran home as fast as I could to tell my mum. Mum asked me to show her but she couldn't believe her eyes. We took it to the bank to exchange it for money. We went up to the counter and the man said "This gold is not real, it is artificial". At first we were crushed and then we thought about it and had a good laugh.
Now that you have fixed up those small errors this is looking really good ... probably your best writing all year! Good job!
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